I often feel torn about "finding the cure". For one thing, I love my daughter. I love her for her quirks, the way she looks at the world. I love her musical talents and her imagination. I love how she has made me a better person. Why would I want a cure for something that makes her who she is, and makes me who I am? Then there are other times, times when she comes home from school: sad because she wants to play on the playground with other children, but doesn't really know how. I ache for her when she doesn't want to go to school because it is "too hard". Why should school be a place that is too hard for a six and seven year old? I ache for her because school was never hard for me, school was easy. School was a place where I excelled! I ache for her when she thinks she is "bad" because she has a harder time making good choices. I ache for her when she has anxieties about taking a bath. Then I'm like, yes I want a cure!!!! Please let's find a magic pill that will help her!!! And of course, not just for her but for the others who have bad days, who go through a school day screaming and yelling. Where is the reset button so they can have joy?
I have always loved social stories, and they have been very powerful for Emily. The first book I bought, The New Social Story Book, by Carol Gray. It taught me to say things like, "Sometimes we finish things now, and sometimes we finish things later." It also has different scenarios: how to act at a birthday party. It also comes with a CD so you can write and personalize social stories to your child. When she was in kindergarten, I would read the different scenarios while she was just playing. It seemed to soothe her and prepare her for next day. I also gave the book to the school, and the special ed teacher wrote some great stories personalized for Emily. She seemed to be doing well, and social stories could be given to her verbally as well as visually. This past year, she has been dealing with anxiety. She has been really afraid to take baths. School has been a major source of anxiety. So about 1 pm on Sunday afternoon, she went into full meltdown mode realizing she would go to school the next day after two weeks of vacation. Well I bought a new story book for her, just in the nick of time. We opened up the book and started to act out all of the scenarios. We spent about two hours going through all the pictures and acting out the stories. Even her older brothers helped! You could see the anxiety slipping away. She started to realize she had some tools to help her at school. When we were finished it was time for her bath. This is usually a screaming mess. "Mom the water is getting too high!" is often heard throughout the house. But this time she said, "Mom please don't drown me." I assured her I wouldn't drown her. Then at the end of the bath, she said, "Mom, thank you for not drowning me." Any time Emily, any time. So for now, we have found a "magic pill". Well at least something that will give her some tools that help her. I highly recommend The Social Skills Picture Book, by Jed Baker. I love that she can just look through the book on her own and gain confidence and skills to help her cope in our crazy unorganized world.
So for now, we will plod along, enjoying our delightful Emily, and trying to find little "magic pills" that will help her!
